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Monday, March 06, 2006

The ‘It’s not REALLY anti-Semitism’ Drinking Game

Some great stuff at Engage in response to Labour politician David Clark's creepy article in today's Guardian. I particularly liked this comment:-

While it is certainly vile to call any arbitrary critic of Israel an anti-Semite, some corners of the broader problem have gotten have gotten so out of hand, you have to be naïve to wonder why orgasmic critics of Israel are looked upon with moral suspicion.

Hirsh’s dead-on response does almost have the making of a drinking game though. Apologies for the irreverence here but sometimes you need a morale lift, especially after #6 which still has me in a rage. Be also advised that I have an itchy trigger finger on under-current anti-Semitism and racism in general (see #9) so curve booze level as per your best *honest* judgment. I'm normally asleep after 3 beers anyway.

The ‘It’s not REALLY anti-Semitism’ Drinking Game

1) Sip if they associate with known anti-Semites, two sips for when they say, they didn’t know they were anti-Semites.

2) Sip if their verbiage is co-opted by anti-Semites, extra sip when they say that they can’t imagine how THAT happened (I’m doing my part to cut down on alcohol abuse and grade inflation here).

3) Sip if when their poor and lazy scholarship has them linking and quoting false anti-Semitic agitprop – on more than one occasion. You get an extra sip if they make a big stink against doing such things when they do it themselves.

4) Sip if their blind spot regarding racism, sexism, homophobia, religious purges, crushing free speech and free association, wrongs and rights, anti-union putsches, and other injustices, seems to cover the whole entire world INCLUDING their own backyards, favored parties, not to mention their *own* behavior – EXCEPT of course, Israel. That’s different. You must also take a gulp for every minute they use to explain *how* it’s different.

5) Sip when their anti-Zionism becomes globalized and any collection of Jews that disagrees with them becomes an object of suspicion. As above you get double the points they use the word ‘Cabal.’ Extra gulps for each thing they claim they’ve leveraged with their Shadow Influence™.

6) When a Jew is brutally murdered in a clearly bias-motivated crime, when you look at the violence of his death, when the kidnappers saying that the parents can always get the ransom at the synagogue, and they say ‘no it doesn’t look like anti-Semitism to me.’ Here, you don’t sip, you don’t gulp or chug. You just cry. I tend to end the game here when this happens. Nobody wins here.

7) Sip when a high-ranking but low-rent twit calls a Jew a Nazi and then decides that it’s REALLY about Israel in a nationally-read editorial column ... and they AGREE! OK that’s a gulp and a free refill.

8) Sip and sing your school song when the local self-anointed chief anti-Zionists goes ... ahem… ‘Zionist’ hunting through the faculty. You have to chug and buy a round for the rest of the players if they say that it’s in the name of academic freedom.

9) [i actually saw this done to someone once] Drink like there is no tomorrow when someone says to a certified {insert nationality here} of any religious persuasion who knows more of the details of the Israeli Palestinian Conflict then they do, ‘You are not a {insert nationality here} you are a Jew.’ What you do with the beer bottles (broken or otherwise) is your business. If they still insist that they aren’t anti-Semitic after that, no jury will convict you regarding that broken bottle thing.

10) And when they insist that some of their best friends are Jews while any of above applies, you drink down the whole bottle and call for a ride home. You’re done for the night.

And after all this, we inevitably get someone surprised when people question if they have any unpleasant biases running under the surface when they criticize Israel? Only Israel. As Heinlein said, ‘… specialization is for insects.’

But seriously, the fact that you CAN make a drinking game ala Dynasty, Star Trek and Footballers’ Wives out of this shows how predictable the more dishonest critics of Israel can be. And they STILL don't get it.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This would be a great drinking game if my drinks of choice weren't absinthe, tequila, and whisky.

I'm too young to die of drinking games!