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Wednesday, June 08, 2011

Schadenfreuderealpolitikbeansproutthing

Warning: this post contains tasteless schadenfreude*.

OK, I know the new E. coli outbreak is no laughing matter. But you would need a heart of stone not to crease up at the news that, after initially fingering organic cucumbers, the German authorities are now closing in on an organic bean sprout farm. Yes, this is an epidemic tailor made for culling health food junkies. I mean, what normal human being, on being told that their next meal is going to be their last one, would order bean sprouts?

And, as one who has himself patronised German health food shops in his time (Frau G made me do it), I strongly suspect, despite the Beeb's reservations, that we already have the solution to the mystery of the sexist bug.

The German government should urgently consider launching a health campaign aimed at middle-class women in their thirties, to encourage them to switch to healthier options such as beer and sausages.

*Foootnote: since like so many bloggers I dream of breaking into the big time in the manner of Oliver Kamm, I follow the rules of the hack's profession and take care to use this word, or its synonym realpolitik, when writing anything about Germany. For the benefit of those who didn't get an edukayshun, it means "I am cultured and cosmopolitan, a veritable Renaissance man". On the other hand, I am emphatically not going to mention the Nazis. Oh, bother, I just did.

1 comment:

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Uhu... it confirms my darkest suspicions about health food shops. I have visited one of those once. Probably I was looking so alien to the management that they assigned a lady to follow me and to explain to me the merchandise. Eventually I've escaped the place, with two or three spices in my beak.

Now I know why I will not repeat that visit.